Tuesday, April 25, 2006

zilt 2

the second of the two.

same comment counts as with the previous one.

Monday, April 24, 2006


i believe the quote was by James Larkin. not that anyone cares, i guess. who am i talking to? oh no, the walls are closing in on me! paranoia! Thomas Pynchon! psychedelica and i've got a bike you can ride it if you like!


too late to be sane. and it's not that late. says a lot about my sanity.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

give me summer

lovely scent of endless summer in the air. corn fields. clouds and no-clouds inbetween.

dublin was nice. love the accent. look left, look right, confusing. busy but some nice history. and smokefree breathing space loveliness. james joyce, eccles street. and everything.

and found that great phrase which so very much raises my own inner powers. but i'm still looking for the exact formulation, as the internet apparently keeps turning up different versions. this one looks closest to my own memory, and the author, whose first name was James, i believe, is to remain a mystery. woooooh. mystery! okay, i'm just too lazy to look it up properly. so anyway:

"The great are only great because we are on our knees: let us rise."

Saturday, April 08, 2006

a history of violence

in the news recently: a group of boys threw a jacket over a young invalid boy's head and started kicking/punching him. "happy slapping" it's called, and there is no point but to slap and do it happily.

heard from a boy yesterday who got attacked by four other guys who wanted nothing really but to make fun hurting him. grrreat fun indeed. ho ho ho.

i abhor violence. but when hearing about those things, something shortcircuits inside my brain. i get past any moral issues of pacifism and feel nothing but an intense urge to hurt those people doing these things. smash their faces. kick them in the stomach. bury my elbows deep in their eye sockets. and then there is the eternal confusion. am i no worse?

what does my vengeance do, achieve besides the proof that my moral (and heartfelt) ideas of abhorring violence lead to nothing when it all comes down to "real life"? i am - from the comfort of my living-room, i admit - very much convinced that i would be able to kill someone, out of pure anger and rage, in an attempt to shatter each and every bone inside his/her body, should he/she hurt my girlfriend, for example.

am i then really no worse? is violence really that much a part of my own life, my own being? and is this something to accept, something which is nothing but an element of the conditions i am born with as a member of the homo sapiens (sapiens) clan? or should i try to ban all of these feelings, these sensations, as vengeance is nothing but a sweet-tasting destructive and empty bitterness? does being a part of mankind mean being a violent entity, or is it rather possessing the ability not to do so? is being myself an opportunity to culturally oppress those genuine and true feelings of violence inside of me, or is it an instinctive duty to embrace them?

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

chanel 9

i'll get me coat...

Monday, April 03, 2006